Written by Guest Blogger Johnnie May
It's been said that the basis of a great relationship is friendship. How often do we link the thought of intimacy to friendship? Probably never. Intimacy can be defined as "close familiarity or friendship; closeness." If you really want to reignite the spark in your relationship… pursue intimacy in your relationship by strengthening your friendship with them.
Sex and intimacy are not the same things. You can have sex without intimacy, but intimacy always leads to sex. Cultivating intimacy leads to the type of sex that God has designed for marriage.
Intimacy produces closeness, trust, stability and a sense of safety. The Hebrew word for sexual intimacy in marriage is "yada". It means “to know deeply”. When we read the Bible and it says that a man went into a woman’s tent and he knew her, it doesn’t simply mean that they had sex and because of that, they had to get married. In that day, custom dictated that a man would pursue the woman by getting to know her. He would have spent time talking to her, studying her, and getting to know the depths of her mind and soul before marriage. The woman would have been ready to have sex with her because she trusted and loved the man. That intimacy and friendship would have been the foundation of their marriage. This is what God designed for marriage.
When you pursue intimacy in your marriage you are pursuing the deeper knowledge of your spouse. The more effort you put into continually getting to know your spouse, inside and out, the more you will draw them near to you.
4 Quick Tips for Intimacy
1) Be a servant.
Ask yourself how you could help your husband/wife? How can I make their day a little easier? Remember that marriage is committing to a lifetime of service. Your spouse will notice the little things that you do and they are sure to make him/ her feel special. In return, their heart will soften towards you.
2) Learn about your partner.
What are their likes and dislikes? How can you avoid their likes and dislikes? What are their weaknesses and strengths? How can you strengthen them? Humans are ever-changing species. The person that you married two years ago is not the same person you sleep next to every night. You should continue to learn about them.
3) Spend time alone.
Go get a coffee or dinner alone. When the kids go to bed, put the phone down and turn the TV off, make an effort to engage the person's mind and heart. The world is full of distractions and it is the devil’s will to make you and your spouse so caught up in life that you miss the blessing that is right next to you. At least once a week shut out the world, and engage your husband/ wife.
4) Watch your mouth.
The Bible tells us that the power of life and death lie in the tongue. Your mouth is the one thing that you can control. Regardless of how your spouse behaves, you will be held. accountable for your response. Speak words that uplift your partner. Choose to respond in love, no matter what. Remember that your spouse isn't the enemy but the spirit inside of them.
Below are a few scriptures that will help you to draw closer to your spouse.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31 NKJV
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:21-22 NKJV
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away." I Corinthians 13:4-5, 7-8 NKJV
"As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love." Proverbs 5:19 NKJV
Meet the Blogger
Hey, y’all! My name is Johnnie May and I’m originally from northeast Louisiana but I traded my hometown for a wedding band and more Cajun lifestyle in south Louisiana. I have two little broke best friends and hope to have more with my wonderful husband.
I'm a self-proclaimed foodie and I've never met a sale that I didn't love. I enjoy helping wives and mothers get organized, cook healthy meals that everyone at the dinner table will love, save money, and be all that God has destined them to be.
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